you know i can’t imagine you were the magic* by erica lewis

you know i can’t imagine you were the magic*

tell me again who i am
i say the words the words say i love
& we are all very fluent about ourselves
in this
life as breathing exercise
We held hands beneath the dirt
We wanted to be trees


so, i’m living in your makeup
I write to hold the music of the room.
who are you when no one is around
/ surrounded by your mutual friends
Because you feel a little bit like me
You can’t help but be nostalgic,
like it might be a rendering of some kind of future,”
right now I just want you to rock me to sleep I want you to sing me
a song
throw it in the opposite direction of the way life seems to be going
Sure, I think about loss. I perform
i let go of myself like a balloon
We’re not so
different in that we prefer being lied to.
that fills any volume,
driven to account for
a history we’ve departed from.

i lay down in the middle of this little world licking the emotions i want to say
Sometimes it means guarding yourself against your own instincts.
but each night i am the same person
tell me anything as long as it’s true


you have wrecked me into my real shape

* “laughing boy”

Note: from daryl hall is my boyfriend

The lines “We held hands beneath the dirt / We wanted to be trees,” are appropriated from the poem “Faerie Drill,” by Melissa Eleftherion Carr.